Well, I have proven something to myself. Proven it many times over. Repeating yourself endlessly and getting mad at a 3 year old accomplishes nothing... except maybe enlarging the ulcer I think I am developing.
As we walked to school as a big happy family this morning, (cue the birds singing, teeth glistening in the sunlight) I became just short of enraged as I instructed Calvin and Spencer to stop stepping in puddles and mud patches. And, in the grand scheme of things, I actually don't care THAT much if they get their feet wet or muddy... it's there grimy little toes that have to deal with it all day, not mine. But, the point is, I told them not to. I would pull one out of the puddle and get down low, in their face to re-explain that they needed to listen when I asked them to not do something, only to turn around to see the other doing the exact same thing. Repeat ~2345873 times. Each time, my voice becoming edgier and edgier, the pulls becomes harsher and harsher. I felt like a terrible mom by the time we got to school, and they still hit every damn puddle between the two doors.
So, feel free to use that little 'comment' link to give advice on how to deal with 3 year olds who are relishing pushing every one of mom's buttons in the quest of "you can't tell me what to do." I am going to try the following... I am going to Target. I am going to buy a big piece of posterboard (my solution to many a child raising challenge, please refer to the "going to bed list"), make 3 columns (Max, of course, wouldn't want to be left out of the solution, though he isn't part of the problem), and start the Listening Chart. For each good job listening, you earn a sticker. For each time you aren't listening, otherwise known as fiercly defying, I take a sticker off. Once you reach a goal number (i.e. see how many times Max has been rewarded?), you get something... haven't figured out the something yet. A toy? A book? A treat? It has to be something I can give 12 of in a day because I know Max is going to be diggin the new system.
And I don't know what to do if someone hits negative numbers.... I'll keep you all posted.
2 comments:
Maybe you could watch an episode of SuperNanny and congratulate yourself that your family doesn't reach that level of dysfunction. Sort of the way I watch Clean House to reassure myself that my clutter is really not that bad.
Charts with stars - yes! I think that works awesome, even (or especially) for three year olds.
Punishment for negative behavior: no TV! Perhaps you are one of the perfect parents who doesn't have any TV at home anyway, in which case it won't work. But even if they only watch TV once a week - its a strong motivator I've found.
Then again, you've got boys . . .. I probably can't help at all.
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