Sunday, November 29, 2009

Momma special

Can anyone give me a good explanation of the behavior of my children? Let me map this out for you..

For the hour and half that Omar let me sleep in, the boys apparently were happy, pleased to play with each other, and padded around the house while Omar did the crossword puzzle and drank coffee.

I wake up, and the place completely falls apart. No one is satisfied with self-directed behavior that had previously been perfectly acceptable. Everyone is trying to be the center of my attention. I get coffee spilled all over my attempt at a morning wake-up because of all the bodies that are slithering all over my personal space.

The whining, which has, by Omar's report, been ABSENT for the entire morning, is now seeping from every child in a pitch that pierces my spinal cord. When asked to please stop this hideous display (like I asked 239583 times the day before, and the day before that, and the day before that), everyone under the age of 6 looses any signs of a skeletal system. I am now on day 4 of wanting to kill my kids. And it only took 3.4 seconds.

How did mother nature let this happen? I have talked with other moms and they all have noted the same problem. How did the human species every survive this anti-Survival-of-the-Fittest adaptation. Make no mistake about it - I am the one most likely to end their battle to pass on genetic material in the upcoming years.

So, Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I look forward to the 9 days we all have off together at Christmas time...

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Belated Halloween

Since I never got around to it last month, here is what Oct 31st looked like around these parts.

Leo Puppy

Mike Wazowski

Max, the white ninja (who thought that was stealthy?) with Mom and Dad Mexican wrestlers

The Neighboorhood Crew

And what would Halloween be without the creepy neighbor guy. Thanks for covering that one, Nathan!

Friday, November 20, 2009

Breakfast conversation

While eating their shredding wheat and oatmeal....

Max: Hey mom, can you buy us some Fruity Pebbles?
Me: Ah yes... Fruity Pebbles... You mean sugar bombs?
Max: They are really good.
Me: I know they are. I loved those things when I was a kid. I didn't know you had ever had them.
Spencer: (Hardly intelligible through the mouth full of oatmeal) Can we get those things that Max just said?
Me: What?
Spencer: I want those Sugar Bombs cereals.

Who wouldn't....

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Night shift

Yet another day in the crazy life I lead.

Now, of course, when I say "day" that doesn't always mean day. This time around my day started at 7:30am yesterday, took a little siesta from 12-2pm, and came back to life with shocking clarity with a ring on my cell phone telling me to come get Leo AGAIN from daycare (last week, it was the pre-night-shift "he had a loose stool and his armpit temp is 99.2. He has to stay home for 24 hours). This time it was "Leo has a goopy eye and needs to be pickup up within half an hour... and he has to stay home for 24 hours." (The insanity caused by H1N1 is so completely off the map I have trouble seeing straight. A temp of 99.2?? Otherwise known as "normal." Oh, and in case you wondered, my MD opinion is worth roughly a hill of beans).

For the love of all that is holy! Do these people have a copy of my schedule?!? The two night shifts I have had this month, and I am toting around a 14-monther on both the pre- and post- days??

So, I get the kid. We get groceries, get the brothers, play at the park, make dinner, eat dinner and then spend a few quality minutes of Monday Night Football with the hubby. Then, it's into the shower at 10pm, off to work at 10:30pm and picking up the first patient at 11pm. I was re-released into the wild at 7:15am. Given the fact that a) the power leaf-blowers were coming to my yard, b) I had a baby at home, and c) Max had a late start and wasn't on the bus until 11am, I did what any good mother would do.

I didn't go home.

I instead went straight to my in-laws' (Thanks Dorit and Naseem!) and crashed for 6 glorious hours of sleep with a fleece earwarmer wrapped over my eyes. We instead paid to have daycare AND a babysitter. Who doesn't love THAT price tag?

Keep drinking the beer, people. Our family's sanity depends on you!

Sunday, November 15, 2009


On the way to the cabin this weekend, the boys were watching Cars. Omar and I overhear this snip-it:

Spencer: Ah Man! Hit him in the wiener
Calvin: He doesn't have a wiener. He's a car.

Ya know. Cause otherwise it's a really good suggestion...

Monday, November 9, 2009

Electric Company

Somehow I have bamboozled the kids into thinking Tivo'ing PBS is cool. They are just as excited about watching Arthur and WordWorld as they are Cars and Star Wars... actually MORE so recently. I'm sure it won't last, but at least there is a trace of educational value to our boob-tube time.

I decided to browse the latest PBS selections recently - you know, mix it up a bit. I didn't even know the Electric Company was still around! I loved that show! I was excited to watch it with the kids...

...ah, you can never go back home. It's now a bunch of funk-savvy tween friends rapping and hip-hopping into my kids hearts. They had a snappy little ditty about the different sounds of 'oo' (i.e. foot vs boot, yes I was paying attention), and the opening credits looked like a video. I at least felt like I was back on terra firma when the two silhouetted profiles spoke the words in pieces with a cheery tune in the background (Come on, everyone say it with me, f-...-oot... foot!)

So, I am officially turning into an old person... "You know kids, this show was different back in MY day..." I can't wait to yell at the neighborhood kids to get off of my yard.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Only the 4th kid...

NEVER in my 7 years of parenting, have I witnessed this:

After a fun filled morning playing around the house and at French Park, we all came home for some lunch before baby boy naptime. He was eating, brothers were eating, I'm bustling around the kitchen cleaning counters, loading the dishwasher, chattering away with my boys.... And this is what I turn around to see. I actually watched the lids fade. ONLY a 4th kid would do this. Not a peep, not a whine, no sounds of discomfort. Just the sense of "hmmm... this looks cosy over here...." and hes' out.

I did, at least, move him to his bed.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009


Do you know how long it took me to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich this morning? 45 minutes. Here's how it went:

Need to make that sandwich for the boys for lunch...
Mom, where's our milk?
Ok, pour some milk
Leo's standing up in his highchair!
Baby, seriously... ok just get out
Get the bread, oh, I should cut some cantaloupe, maybe that would interest Leo
Mom, can we have a slice?
Sure, sure, here ya go...
Leo! Ok, now I have to put all the sandwich bags back in the box
Oooh, this box has a boxtop... cut that out...
Mom, I'm done with breakfast
Fine, go get dressed. Where is the jelly?
Gotta pop the veggie burger on the stove for Leo's lunch
cut cut cut cut cantaloupe
No room for making sandwich... must fill dishwasher and clear some space
Get the peanut butter...
Mom, I don't have any socks
Day off today... maybe I'll get some laundry folded...
They are down in the laundry room!
Put the cantaloupe in bags and tupperware
Bread out of bag...
Leo... why did you have to dump the WHOLE box of Trivial Pursuit cards on the ground?
Spreading the peanut butter....
Spreading the jellly....

And Voila.