It's a deep thoughts kind of day

Yesterday was another one of those hug-everyone-when-you-get-home-from-work kind of shifts. It's part of the job, but it never gets easier to be the doctor for a young man who ultimately died from the injuries of his car accident. Nicest family. Wrenching grief.

His dad was wearing a Viking's T-shirt... and it just made me reflect on how quickly the things that seem SO important 4 hours ago can seem so completely trivial in the blink of an eye. For reasons that will never be known, this 21-year-old veered over the center line in broad daylight. Cell phone? Text? 2 hours later one of our surgeons was seen for the EXACT SAME kind of accident - he had veered into an oncoming car because he looked down at his pager as he was driving to the hospital. He also had a head-on collision, and he broke his sternum. But he walked out of the ER. My patient is gone.

And my dear friend MS is likely in a hospital room right now, rubbing her dad's hands again since it's the one pain she can do something about. His cancer is continuing its relentless, horrific, hijacking of this wonderful, funny, and loving father and grandpa. It has been brutal to watch from where I am sitting, and I am nowhere near the epicenter.

I am sitting here trying to come up with some sort of "what this all means" kind of wrap-up. But I don't have one. These are the situations that bring up the ultimate "Why??" I guess the pursuit for the answer to that question is the driving source behind many a faith and philosophy. Little 'ol me ain't goin to come up with it today... but I liked this quote:

“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.” -Gilda Radner