What have I become...

There are many things I swore I would never do in this life. And here I am, doing them. Not only doing them, but ENJOYING doing them. These are the moments when our mother's look at us, grin, gently nod their heads and think to themselves, "yes, yes... this is how life works, my child..." These are the things my own children will mock self-righteously in 15 years as examples of how I am "The Man." A few examples...

1) I own a minivan - And you know what? It is a damn fine car. Very very useful when toting groceries, dogs, children, bikes, and kegs (ah, to be a Surly Ansari...)

2) I live in a suburb - I can still get to First Ave or any other downtown destination faster than any of my 'city' friends, but my address is not Minneapolis. I'm trying to remember why this was so important.

3) As of last week, I am officially a Soccer Mom - Again, why was this such a bad thing? Max is exercising, LOVING it, and I get to set in the sun reading a book. Why such anathema for such a lovely thing...

But this last one really sent me. Maybe it's because I now fold my clothes IN the laundry room where there is a counter that is brightly lit by fluorescent bulbs (instead of on the couch in a dark basement watching TV at the same time), but as I found buddies for the 38994636 socks in our house, I actually thought to myself "Wow, these whites are so dinghy" 

4) I have dinghy whites.

When did I become the lady from the Tide commercial? Wait, I USE Tide! I guess I am now some lady from a Clorox commercial! An Ajax commercial! AAAAAaaaaaaagh!!!

I guess it's time to go buy some lovely heals and a skirt to dust in. Maybe a nice pin-curl hairdo. Where is that recipe for cherry Jell-o with cream cheese balls and walnuts (I actually could get that one from my mom, no joking...)? Excuse me while I go make my husband a highball...

I need to get back to the hospital... Someone, please, have a heart attack. Let me focus on that instead of my whites... I've clearly had too many days off in a row.