Plumbing Lesson

You wanna know how to freak out a family of 4 boys under the age of 7?

Semi-lose your mind when all 4 toilets start exploding 4 minutes before the bus is going to arrive while you have a baby strapped to your chest.

Yup. That will do it.

It all began while Calvin was putting on his shoes, Leo was in the Baby Bjorn, Max was getting his homework in his bag, and Spence was doing something outside. Suddenly, the sound of the flushing of the most forceful industrial strength toilet starts ringing throughout the house. Cal, with a near cry on his face, looks up to me with one of his "mamma can fix anything" gazes and says "Mom! What is that noise??" I race up to the loudest of the toilets in the boys bathroom to see water shooting out of the bowl with such force it is spraying the wall to eye level.

Now, take a person in full cardiac arrest. I am cool as a cucumber. Motorcycle accident with multiple amputations. Bring it on. But a spewing, LOUD toilet that shows absolutely NO sign that it is going to cease this behavior. I kinda freaked out.

I call Omar. I use the word "exploding" and Max starts to snivel. Omar tells me to turn the water off to the toilet. It is only after I detach the baby, leave him in the arms of the very frightened 6 year old, that I can reach down behind the belching toilet, getting sprayed all the while (did I mention I was already dressed for a wedding shower I am going to later today...?), and shut off the water. Only when I got the full bouquet of the warm air blasting from the toilet drain do I realize this isn't a water problem. It's a forceful sewer gas problem. The one salvo I had to stop the madness is useless. I call our dear friend and contractor, telling him to get his kiester to our house, pronto.

The bus is now 1 minute from arrival.

So, I kick all the terrified children out of the house, I save Leo from the corner he had become stuck in, and pretend nothing is wrong for the next 20 minutes while I get Max on the bus and all the kids to daycare. WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO DO? (except thank the powers above none of the boys had been sitting on the toilets when this PTSD provoking incident occurred).

In the end, after mopping up 4 bathrooms, apparently the city was cleaning the sewer lines and our pressure release system of traps in the roof was just overwealmed. The solution? 3 years from now, when they do it again? Ask for forewarning, close the toilet lids, and wrap towels around them. No joke.

And lets be serious... who's gonna remember to do that??