Someday I'll believe it

I have never been a good exerciser. The idea of just going out for a run or a bike "just cuz" is a phenomenon I truly do not understand. I must have a goal, and aim. In high school, I was very fit due to the fact that I was on the basketball team. When I quit senior year (jerkwad for a coach), I became a slug. Now I am fit because I sign up for races.

But the reality of the matter? I believe I am a slug. This is what I truly think in my inner heart of hearts. I have needed to lose weight in the past, I have become a post-partum mush ball in the past. I simply have come to believe that the fit Becca is the mirage with the chubby one always lurking in the background.

However, I might just have done this triathlon thing long enough now to slowly turn that tide. I have now been consistently exercising for 2.5 years. And my new coach, in the middle of a conversation about my training said "... and you are clearly athletic...."

Huh?

I am ?

I actually told him that I didn't believe him. And his response? "I wouldn't be you coach if I didn't truly think that."

And then yesterday, I was meeting the mom of one of Spencer's friends and she asked me if I cross-country skied. When I said no, she said "Well what do you do? You clearly do something."

Huh?

I do?

So maybe, just maybe, I can start to see myself through the eyes of others. If I do that long enough, I might just start seeing it myself.