More generous with the morphine

I think I am going to sue REI. They sent out this catalog looking thingy yesterday that was sealed in the center of the side you are supposed to open. It said "Open here!" Now, every other catalog in the world is sent out without this little seal, and they seem to weather the postal service fairly well. I mean, Pottery Barn seems to manage OK in the global economy...

But, I do what I am told. I reach in there with my finger to slide it across and out, releasing the little glob of goo that binds these pages together. It is only as I whip my finger sideways that I feel the slightly shorter, posterboard-firm page that has nestled itself under my fingernail.

Sweet heavenly father...

As I sat by the kitchen sink, with blood freely flowing out from under the 1/4 inch deep separation of nail and skin, I was fairly certain someone had lit my finger on fire. I was home with Leo and Spencer (fever, but otherwise bouncing off the walls... oh, and I just got the phone call saying Calvin is the same and needs to be retrieved...), and I honestly thought for a few seconds that I might just pass out. That passed, followed by the sudden urge to throw up. Thankfully, that too passed. I gently soothed myself with the gentle whisper of choice swear words...

It was completely excruciating. And this is coming from the chick who had baby #1 without meds. The ice pack just made it hurt worse. As of this afternoon, it has stopped throbbing at all times. 

So, I just changed the bandage for the first time. You would barely know that anything was wrong. I mean, yeah, the cut's under the nail so you can't really look at it, but seriously? THAT much pain? I see people on a regular basis with fingers literally hanging on by a thread. (Table saws really should be banned). And then there was that one guy who showed up with his WHOLE hand in an igloo cooler next to him.... And here I am ready to pass out from basically a nasty paper cut. 

Note to my MD self - more morphine, more quickly. You can really never go wrong. (Except for that gal that totally bamboozled me for a quick hit of narcs with her fictitious shoulder dislocation, but who's counting...)