It seems, of late, that the children have a well orchestrated schedule worked out. They fake not knowing the time, the date or the flow of a day because the clearly know how to tag-team pushing me to my limits these days with swiss-watch-like precision.
It goes from whining to not finishing homework, to starting eating without sitting down, to standing up during every meal, to leaving a needed book at school, to forgetting the math on the table, to interrupting every word that comes out of my mouth, to glad-handling your brother's body because he won't give you some worthless piece of plastic that you've had NO interest in for the past 4 years, to refusing to take the time to poop properly, to peppering me with the never ending Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom, to leaving the door open (again), to leaving your new game where the dog chomps it to bits, to not drinking your milk (again), to leaving clothes all over the damn place, to having no idea where your sports gear is, to leaving that sports gear all over the greater Minneapolis area, to intentionally bugging your brother, to leaving your dishes at the table (again), and for the curtain call, acting like a victim of child abuse when I get upset about ANY of the above.
It's been a bit of a rough week.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Answers
Much to my husbands frequent chagrin, there are very few questions posed by my kids that I will not answer. I figure it's better they get the straight dope from me that some awkward 8-11year old version elsewhere.
While single-parenting last night, the kids asked if I would read them from "The Book of Lists," their new favorite way to pass time. This book has a wide variety of lists, from Top Ten Unsolved Murders to Top Ten Unusual Uses for Beer, and everything in between. They chose Top Ten Frivolous Lawsuits as our first list last night.
One of the lawsuits involved a woman suing Victoria's Secret (explain what that is) for injury to her eye when the thong she was trying on snapped. This, of course, required explaining what a thong is. Now, if Omar was in this situation, he would simply say it's a pair of underwear. 'Nuf said. But, we all know, that's not really answering their question.
The looks on their faces when I described the construction and positioning of a thong was completely worth the effort I put into it. Horror and frank disbelief. "Why would anyone do that???" This inevitably led to a discussion of what a panty line is. Again, horror, embarrassment and copious giggling.
They are now pretty sure Victoria's Secret is a purveyor of disgusting, bizarre, undesirable items.
Mission accomplished.
While single-parenting last night, the kids asked if I would read them from "The Book of Lists," their new favorite way to pass time. This book has a wide variety of lists, from Top Ten Unsolved Murders to Top Ten Unusual Uses for Beer, and everything in between. They chose Top Ten Frivolous Lawsuits as our first list last night.
One of the lawsuits involved a woman suing Victoria's Secret (explain what that is) for injury to her eye when the thong she was trying on snapped. This, of course, required explaining what a thong is. Now, if Omar was in this situation, he would simply say it's a pair of underwear. 'Nuf said. But, we all know, that's not really answering their question.
The looks on their faces when I described the construction and positioning of a thong was completely worth the effort I put into it. Horror and frank disbelief. "Why would anyone do that???" This inevitably led to a discussion of what a panty line is. Again, horror, embarrassment and copious giggling.
They are now pretty sure Victoria's Secret is a purveyor of disgusting, bizarre, undesirable items.
Mission accomplished.
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
A 5 year history of Sept 9th!
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| BIRTHDAY |
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| One year old |
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| 2 years old |
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| Learning the business at 3 |
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| 4 years |
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| Yesterday, rockin the hat |
Happy Birthday, my small fry.
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Down to One
It has been 8 years since I have been the mother to only one child. But as of this morning, I am again only caring for one for the entire week. Max has been gone already a week to Y camp, and Cal & Spence just got on the bus for their first one week camp experience this morning.
It feels super weird.
The quiet alone is disruptive. I am not being pulled in 4 different directions by 4 different pitches of "Mom, Mom, Mom..." Leo is at a play date right now, and Omar is out of town, which means I HAVE NOTHING TO DO. Now, of course, there is always something to do, but I have the freedom to browse through that list at a leisurely brunch-style-menu fashion. I think I will go for a run. This will be followed by a long hot shower.
I could then tend to the laundry, but you know what. I ain't gonna. Not gonna do it. I think I will, instead, either read or go to a coffeehouse and write.
And I'll miss by boys a little bit...
It feels super weird.
The quiet alone is disruptive. I am not being pulled in 4 different directions by 4 different pitches of "Mom, Mom, Mom..." Leo is at a play date right now, and Omar is out of town, which means I HAVE NOTHING TO DO. Now, of course, there is always something to do, but I have the freedom to browse through that list at a leisurely brunch-style-menu fashion. I think I will go for a run. This will be followed by a long hot shower.
I could then tend to the laundry, but you know what. I ain't gonna. Not gonna do it. I think I will, instead, either read or go to a coffeehouse and write.
And I'll miss by boys a little bit...
Friday, August 9, 2013
The Beauty of Sadness
When our friends, the Eklund's, let us all know they were moving, my first reaction was to turn my gaze away while silently saying "Why? Why? Why would they do that?" in my head. "Why would you ever want to leave us?" I kept a straight face, saying outwardly "Wow! That is really exciting for you guys!" and probed for further details as I tried to not let my own sadness overcome their news. It was like the "amicable" breakup in college where you are telling yourself "Yeah, you are right. This isn't working out. It's better this way. I'm totally cool with it" when you are TOTALLY NOT COOL WITH IT. The blow was softened by the qualifier that they were moving out of state, not just to a different neighborhood (which may sound odd, but the fact that it was for work and not just a new house felt better somehow). It was also softened significantly by the news that this move was (probably) temporary - New York City for 2 years.
There are so many different flavors of friendship. Acquaintances, casual drink friends, frequent dinner friends, work friends, tell-all friends, distance friends, used-to-have-a-lot-in-common friends, college buds, grad school pals. But then there are the friends who are a part of you. A part of your family. Friends that make you laugh to the point that you can't breath, and who are part of the daily fabric of your life, even if you don't see them every day. Friends with whom you can be completely, blatantly, unflatteringly yourself, and they love you all the more for it. Friends who you can cry with as comfortably as laugh with. These are the friends who are the family you choose, in addition to the family you are born into.
These are the Eklund's.
As with most precious things, rarity is one of the criteria. There are only so many friendships that can bore into you so deeply. It is also harder, I think, to make those friendships at this point in life. Everyone is busy - jobs, kids, family, exercise, making dinner, doing the homework. Where is the time to really give of yourself freely and honestly with the intention of knowing someone else as fully as you can?
So, we cry.
And then laugh. I thank my lucky stars that I cared so much about a friendship that it would hurt so much to say "see you later." And we will see you later. It won't be the same around here without you guys. But how completely fortunate our gang has been to find each other, love each other and grieve each other. It is a beautiful thing.
There are so many different flavors of friendship. Acquaintances, casual drink friends, frequent dinner friends, work friends, tell-all friends, distance friends, used-to-have-a-lot-in-common friends, college buds, grad school pals. But then there are the friends who are a part of you. A part of your family. Friends that make you laugh to the point that you can't breath, and who are part of the daily fabric of your life, even if you don't see them every day. Friends with whom you can be completely, blatantly, unflatteringly yourself, and they love you all the more for it. Friends who you can cry with as comfortably as laugh with. These are the friends who are the family you choose, in addition to the family you are born into.
These are the Eklund's.
As with most precious things, rarity is one of the criteria. There are only so many friendships that can bore into you so deeply. It is also harder, I think, to make those friendships at this point in life. Everyone is busy - jobs, kids, family, exercise, making dinner, doing the homework. Where is the time to really give of yourself freely and honestly with the intention of knowing someone else as fully as you can?
So, we cry.
And then laugh. I thank my lucky stars that I cared so much about a friendship that it would hurt so much to say "see you later." And we will see you later. It won't be the same around here without you guys. But how completely fortunate our gang has been to find each other, love each other and grieve each other. It is a beautiful thing.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Gotta go
So, either this gang of ours is cursed, or we REALLY need a vacation.
6 months ago, the 5 couples of the 'hood decided we were going to kick the "We're all now in our 40's" off right with a grand trip to Mexico. 5 couples, no kids, 5 nights in Saluylita, endless margaritas. Only order of business? Learn how to surf.
One month ago, Roxie pulled her hamstrings clean off her pelvis and had to get them surgically reattached. The crutches were just jettisoned last weekend.
2 weeks ago, Mary got leg-swept by her dog on her stairway and broke off a chunk of her sacrum. She is still getting used to sitting.
Yesterday, I broke my pinky toe on a coffee table leg. Turns out walking is painful on this little bruised nub that looks like a plump, purple little smokey.
So far Erika and Pam are uninjured, but I have advised them to stay in bubble wrap for the next 17 hours until our plane takes off. The men clearly have better ju-ju than the women. They are all still standing.
Wish us luck...
6 months ago, the 5 couples of the 'hood decided we were going to kick the "We're all now in our 40's" off right with a grand trip to Mexico. 5 couples, no kids, 5 nights in Saluylita, endless margaritas. Only order of business? Learn how to surf.
One month ago, Roxie pulled her hamstrings clean off her pelvis and had to get them surgically reattached. The crutches were just jettisoned last weekend.
2 weeks ago, Mary got leg-swept by her dog on her stairway and broke off a chunk of her sacrum. She is still getting used to sitting.
Yesterday, I broke my pinky toe on a coffee table leg. Turns out walking is painful on this little bruised nub that looks like a plump, purple little smokey.
So far Erika and Pam are uninjured, but I have advised them to stay in bubble wrap for the next 17 hours until our plane takes off. The men clearly have better ju-ju than the women. They are all still standing.
Wish us luck...
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Tahoe Baby!
For the New Year, we were fortunate enough to have Matt and Megan include us, yet again, on a wonderful adventure to Northstar ski mountain. Their family has an amazing home in the area and the ski conditions were great. We had absolutely no fun whatsoever...
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| Last day on the mountain |
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| MOUSTACHE! |
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| Massive hot tub for all |
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| Dinner with my honey |
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| This one pretty much sums it up. |
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